May 2013
tbhdontcare:
How do you politely tell someone that you want them naked on top of you
janetdevlinoffic:
Always remember that you are not worthless, organs are extremely expensive on the black market
”where do you wanna go to dinner?”
”i don’t care”
”ok”
thepensivebrony:
“you shouldn’t be depressed, people have it worse than you”
finally, after years of searching, the person with the worst life ever is found. formally, they are granted permission to be sad. but only them. only they have earned it. no sads for anyone else at all ever
So my teacher told us that two blue eyed people can’t have a brown eyed kid and this kid in my class said “but both my parents have blue eyes and I have brown eyes”. The teacher said “so you’re adopted”. THe next day the kid came in and told us that he confronted his parents about it and that they said he was adopted but wanted to wait for the right time to tell him.
nigerian:
[singing in shower] [simon cowell appears] “its a no from me”
arachnids8rip:
fuckheaded:
Clearly she wears those short skirts and skimpy tank tops because she wants the d. and by d I mean vitamin d. she wants to soak up as much sun as she can. because revealing clothes are not an invitation for sex u prick
and the award for unexpected turns goes to
partybarackisinthehousetonight:
pro tip: fill the piñata with absolutely nothing to prepare your kids for the letdowns of adulthood
i want a late night adventure. i want someone to call me up and say, “i’m outside. let’s go do something!” i want to go out late at night in my pj’s and my hair all tied up. maybe drive around. go to a park and just swing on the swings. maybe sit in the grass and watch the stars or maybe go to a 24 hour food place and pig out. i just want a late night adventure with people i like to be around....
stilisnki:
i dont even remember getting boobs tho like one morning i just woke up and wow what are these things ???
luke-loves:
sending hate makes you no better then anyone else.
it makes you pathetic.
its people like you who has made our society what it is today.
you could’ve saved a life, not ended one.
you committed a murder today.
think about that you piece of shit.
princesstoaster:
*sends nudes*
reply: your room is messy
dallonjames:
when I was like 7 I found my brother’s porn on his computer and it was this story about a girl and she went to this mechanics place but she didn’t have any money so she payed with like sex and then so I thought that was how you paid for everything so once we went to target and I started unbuttoning my pants and my mother started screaming
